10 Reasons Why the Brunnie is No Fun in Formal Wear

1) Because my feet hurt like a sonofabit** in those pointy, lethal shoes.

2) Because I look like a lunatic among all these young, college-aged drinkers in my low-cut formal black dress.

3) Because carrying a little purse AND camera on my shoulders is no fun when you're trying to dance.

4) Please see number 1.

5) Please see number 4.

6) Because people look at you like you're some sort of tourist who just arrived on earth and who doesn't know how clubbing in Toronto works.

7) Because you can't really bust a move like you normally do because you're afraid your stockings will run, you'll twist your ankle (in those god-forsaken heels), your purse will fling out and hit someone or your boob will fall out.

8) Did I just write boob?

9) (laughs like Peter Griffin)

10) Because you can't really sit down anywhere because every surface is covered in something like spooge or gunge or ick... and who wants to get that crap on their dress.