1) Grate some monterey jack then use a gob of it to patch holes in plumbing. I can't guarantee it won't smell foul in a few hours.
2) Cut out little circles and rectangles out of old cheddar. Using toothpicks, construct little cheese people and stick them to the top of your computer monitor at work. Periodically, when people are watching, take 2 crackers, remove the head of one cheese person and eat it.
3) Take a salad bowl and fill it with water. For extra fun, use purple food colouring. Place bocconcini in the bowl and play "bobbing for cheese balls".
4) Sprinkle parmesan (or romano cheese, if you are out of parmesan) all over the shoulders of your black sweater. Loudly exclaim (on the subway) that you are EXTREMELY disappointed with the shoddy quality of your dandruff shampoo. For added benefit, try to lick your elbow.
5) Wait until that crazy co-worker takes of their shoes, and quietly insert little pieces of swiss cheese in them.
6) Next time you are buying coffee at Tim Hortons, and it is time to pay... slowly pull out your wallet (this must be done with a straight face) and shuffle around until you find a slice of Havarti. Hand this to the clerk, smile and turn and walk away.
7) Smear ricotta on some car windshields in the mall parking lot.
8) Cut little squiggly lines out of a piece of mozzarella cheese. Make a big production out of sneezing at work, then pull your hands away only to reveal the squiggly cheese lines. Try to lick your elbow again.
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3 comments:
How do you come up with this stuff????
Ha! Wouldn't YOU like to know? Basically my mind is an abyss of random useless stuff. ;)
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